Parenting Isn’t about Kids

It’s about parents.

Does that sound odd to you? Or even jarring? Let me repeat it: parenting isn’t about kids, it’s about parents. We’ve always been told and believed the opposite: parenting is about kids. Parenting is about these younger human beings that we’ve been put in charge of. As parents we’re responsible for them—for making sure they have a strong sense of security and high self-esteem. We’re responsible for making sure they’re healthy and normal. We’re responsible for them receiving the best education possible. We’re responsible for providing all the opportunities we possibly can to insure that they are intelligent, well-rounded individuals. We’re responsible for them developing sound morals. We’re responsible for them staying out of trouble. We’re responsible for them choosing the right college and major, the right husband or wife. We’re responsible for them not going to Hell, for crying out loud! Right?

Wrong. Parenting is not about kids–it’s about us, the parents. And we are not responsible for our kids. Instead, we are responsible to our kids. And believe me there is a difference. In this article, I will insha’Allah talk about these two very important principles.

Read the rest of the article here

www.muslimahsource.org

 

Fiqh of Pregnancy -Sh. Yaser Birjas

What have you always wanted to know about pregnancy and birth?

Are you confused about Islamic rulings regarding contraception?

What about the fiqh behind fertility?

Should a pregnant woman fast?

What happens to a child that is miscarried?

Questions, Questions, Questions!

From burden to blessing… ‘Aaishah, mother of the believers, radi Allaahu anha said: Blessed are the women of the Ansar. Shyness did not stand in their way of seeking knowledge about their religion!” (Agreed upon). Sisters, this one’s for you! Finally! Have your fiqh questions about conception, infertility, pregnancy and motherhood answered by a qualified source!

Seize the opportunity:

MUM LOVES ME PRESENTS…

For the first time ever…
Online Q & A Session

On the Fiqh of Pregnancy with Shaykh Yaser Birjas, Instructor, AlMaghrib Institute
January 14, 2010 | 8:30 PM EST (NY TIME)

This free, online session is for all sisters, whether single, married, or expecting to answer all your questions related to pregnancy, birthing, and post-pregnancy. Expand your horizons by seizing the opportunity to ask your most pressing questions in a convenient, semi-private, online setting.

Confirm your spot @ www.mumlovesme.com

Baby Yoga

If your baby is 4 months and above, try visiting Pampers Baby Yoga for some  great exercises to perform on your baby.

My son really enjoyed these excercises when he was young. Some of the videos show you how to perform winding excercises on your baby, which are very good, but mind you i was doing these on my son from 3 weeks +. I found they were really useful as my son had very bad wind.

Great way for you and your baby to bond, and have lots of fun!

Enjoy :)

Surrey Islamic Playgroup

This Islamic playgroup is the only one I am aware of in surrey area and one that that runs consistently

Details of Morden playgroup

Wednesdays 10am-12pm

£2 per family 

• Plenty of free parking.
• Lots of toys to play with in the hall including ride-on cars, a slide and an art and craft table.
• Snack time is fruit and toast for the children and tea and biscuits for the mothers.
• Before hometime, we have circle time, when we sing songs, read stories and learn some Arabic.

For more information, please contact Sadia 07859 056 908

Mother & Toddler Playgroup,

Morden Assembly Hall,

Lower Morden Lane,

Morden

"Mama I'm waiting for you in Jannah" (Ilminar)

If you missed the live ilminar, you can listen to the online recording by downloading the mp3 here

The Sunnah of Being Born: Islamic Etiquettes for Pregnancy, Childbirth and The Newborn

A talk delivered by Shaykh Yaser Birjas, the Director of English Youth Education at the Prayer Center of Orland Park, IL.

"....For every single hardship, for every single pain she suffers during that time (pregnancy) she'll get the reward for that..."

"....for the mother when she feels the pain and says Alhumdulillaah, and she always reminds herself , she will get the double reward. Extra reward for that, so she does that as much as possible inshaAllaah."

"...if that child (in the womb) hears the Qur'an, regularly and specifically from the mother's voice - that is the best thing.Because when the child comes out and he hears the Qur'an from the mother's voice then in this case this will be inshaAllaah good for that child and he will recognise that voice and continue with it..."

"....If Allaah blessed you with a child then you have the ability to help yourself, before your child, to make that child right grow up righteous, so that when you die, you get the reward for every single good deed that they do!...."

How should we protect our children?

Taken from an Al-Kauthar Course;

https://www.alkauthar.org/content.asp?pgc=less_outofsight&From=Our%20Courses

http://forums.alkauthar.org/showthread.php?t=5979&page=4

1. Protect the home first read the whole of surah Baqarah once every three days. Make azan in the house for every prayer. The home is the fortess of the woman. (i might expand on this point later)

2. Reading adkhaar over them every morning (before sending them to school) and evening. 

A'uzubi kalimathith thamma min kulli shaytanin wa hamma wa min killi alynil lamma.

I seek refuge in the Perfect Word of Allah from every devil and poisonous creature and every evil eye.

Shiekh Waleed mentioned that the prophet (pbuh) used to seek refuge for Hasaan and Hussain with this dua when they were children. 

Ibrahim (as) would also read this dua to protect his children Ismael (as) and Ishaaq (as)

3. Read the 3 quls x3 and then blow on your hands and wipe over them before sleeping. (Front of thier bodies (not the back), from head to toe. But dont come back up ie. from feet to head.

4. You read ayat al kursi aloud with eman and tawwakul (that Allah (swt) sends down an angel to protect you all night- teach this to the children)

5. Saying bismilliah before letting them out of the house either for play in the garden or to go school.

6. Teaching them about the sunnah ie. never urinate under trees, or a hole, or cave or hard shoulder of motor way except in desprate situation even then read the dua for entering toilet because its a dua to seek refuge from the jinns (daleel: toilets were not attached to the houses in the time of the prophet so people used to go out in the night to an area of land that was designated for releieving one self that is what is called the hammam. (still found nower days in muzdalifa hajj) but is mentioned in hadith)

7. Bring them inside the house 20 minutes or sooner before maghrib.

8. Close the doors and windows saying bismilah. Cover utensils.

9. Teach the children not to get angry and if they do to say bismillah

10. Be careful abroad- girl have got possessed because thier parents dressed them in nice clothes and hiar done up nicely and took them to a village known to have jinns. no protective dua over them so jinns like these children and possess them.

Allah Hu Alim

When one of our sisters loses her baby...

“I am sorry, but your baby did not survive.”

From somewhere in the distance, an unknown voice utters the words that deafen all sounds and ring on everlastingly.

In this special edition of Muhammad Alshareef 2.0, AlMaghrib Institute presents:

 www.ilminar.com
 
"The title of this Ilminar alone brings tears to my eyes. I want to do
a lecture that may, by the permission of Allah, be a source of comfort
for parents all over the world who have experienced the loss of a
loved on. These are REAL issues that do not normally get addressed. I
intend to champion it. Please invite your friends and family to RSVP."

- Muhammad Alshareef
 
 
RSVP @ www.ilminar.com
Sunday, October 25 | 6:45pm (NY Time) | 10:45pm (London UK)

Mothers: Producers of Heroes

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

“...Mothers play a great role in building a generation. The better a mother is at raising her children, the more successfully the Ummah is built and the more successful it is at producing heroes. You hardly ever see a great man except that a great woman is behind him who left some of her traits in his personality by way of the milk from which he was fed and the warm embrace in which he sought refuge.

Most men find it hard to remove these shining images from their minds that they retain of their mothers. These outstanding images that ran through his veins from a young age remain engraved in his mind, and he cannot help but to remember them with veneration and pride. He recalls the simple, clear words that his mother left his spirit with, and these words grow to become milestones on his path and guiding lights on his quest.

He cannot help but to place himself under the vast shade that his mother provided for him throughout the long course of his life, nurtured by the pleasant emotions and mixed with the eternal days of his life. These realities grow in his spirit and become an inseparable part of his personality that he cannot let go of without letting go of his humanity.

This is why preserving this affection and repaying this kindness with kindness is an obligation in Islam that is directly partnered with Tawhid: {“...and your Lord ordained that you worship only Him, and that you treat your parents with excellence...”} [al-Isra’; 32] And disobedience to them is directly partnered with kufr.

Respect for mothers occupies a very high position on the ladder of Islam, and is very heavy in its scales. It is reported in the ‘Sahih’ that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saw) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, who is most deserving of my kind treatment?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked again: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked again: “Then who?” He replied: “Your father.”

I once said to Ibrahim al-Akhdar – the imam of the Haram in Makkah – “Why do you prevent your sweet voice from being heard by the Muslims who come from everywhere to hear it? How can you request to return to Madinah when some people say that hearing you recite the Qur’an is like hearing it descending fresh from the heavens?”

So, he replied: “My treasures in this world are my grandmother and mother, and I must fulfill my responsibilities to them and treat them well. Nobody can do this but me.”

I said: “Why don’t you bring your grandmother here?”

He said: “She refuses to leave Madinah out of fear that she might die outside of it, and her greatest wish is to be buried in the graveyard of al-Baqi’.”

And indeed, Ibrahim actually left the Haram in Makkah and went back to leading a small mosque in Madinah, sticking to the Paradise that is at the foot of his mother and grandmother...”

[‘Majallat al-Jihad’; #36, Rabi’ al-Awwal 1408]

www.kalamullah.com